Think about someone you deeply admire.
What is it about them?
Their confidence?
Their kindness?
Their discipline?
Their calm presence or ability to lead with integrity?
Now ask yourself: What if I could become that person?
Not them exactly—but a version of you that carries the same energy, intention, and impact.
Good news: You can.
You already have the blueprint inside. Becoming the kind of person you admire isn’t about perfection—it’s about alignment. It’s about bridging the gap between who you are today and the person you’re capable of becoming.
Step 1: Define Who That Person Is
Before becoming who you admire, you have to know what you admire.
Try this:
- List 3–5 people you look up to
- Write down what traits or behaviors you respect in them
- Look for patterns—what do they have in common?
Now go deeper:
- Is it their consistency under pressure?
- Their kindness, even when it’s hard?
- Their ability to speak the truth with love?
- Their dedication to growth?
This is not about comparison. It’s about creating a vision—a north star.
Step 2: Identify the Emotional Drivers Behind the Traits
Admiration isn’t just about what someone does—it’s about how they make you feel.
Ask:
- When I’m around this kind of person, how do I feel?
- Do I feel safe, inspired, seen, challenged?
This gives insight into what energy you want to carry in your own presence.
You’re not just shaping habits—you’re shaping your energetic impact.
Step 3: Close the Integrity Gap
Most people know who they want to be. They just haven’t built the habits, thoughts, and boundaries to support it yet.
Ask:
- Where am I not living in alignment with my ideal self?
- What actions, thoughts, or patterns are pulling me out of integrity?
Start small. Maybe it’s:
- Being honest in situations where you usually stay silent
- Showing up on time because the person you admire values respect
- Ending gossip because you admire people who protect others
Becoming isn’t a leap. It’s a series of consistent choices.
Step 4: Build “Identity-Based” Habits
James Clear said it best: “Every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become.”
Don’t just set outcome goals. Set identity goals.
Instead of “I want to read more,” say:
- “I’m the kind of person who values learning.”
Instead of “I want to work out,” say:
- “I’m the kind of person who takes care of their body.”
Let your habits reflect who you’re becoming—not who you’ve been.
Step 5: Mirror the Mindset
Ask yourself:
- What would the version of me I admire think in this moment?
- How would they speak to themselves after a mistake?
- How would they handle this challenge?
Start borrowing that mindset. Try it on like a jacket.
Even before you feel like that person—start thinking like them.
Your identity follows your thoughts.
Step 6: Create an “Admired Self” Anchor
Visualize the version of you who:
- Honors their boundaries
- Communicates with clarity
- Practices what they preach
- Walks with calm, grounded confidence
Give this version of you a name, image, or energy. Then ask throughout the day:
“What would my admired self do here?”
This is powerful when you feel stuck, insecure, or tempted to regress. It gives you a reference point that’s already within you.
Step 7: Surround Yourself With Expansive Energy
It’s hard to rise when you’re surrounded by energy that keeps you small.
Make it easier to grow by:
- Spending time with people who already reflect what you admire
- Consuming content (books, podcasts, media) that inspires and stretches you
- Limiting energy that pulls you toward judgment, fear, or distraction
You don’t have to do it alone. Let the right environment lift your identity.
Step 8: Let Go of Perfection
The people you admire? They have flaws, too.
Becoming someone you admire doesn’t mean:
- Being perfect every day
- Never making mistakes
- Always feeling confident
It means:
- Showing up with intention
- Repairing when you fall out of alignment
- Staying committed even on hard days
You’re not creating a highlight reel. You’re cultivating character.
Final Thought: You Already Are That Person—In Progress
You don’t become the kind of person you admire by chasing an ideal.
You become them by:
- Showing up in small moments with integrity
- Making choices that stretch, not shrink you
- Living in alignment with what matters most
- And remembering—every single day—that you are becoming you
Not someone else. Not someone perfect.
Just the most honest, powerful, aligned version of yourself.
And that is more than enough.